To the group chat, my sister, three exes, one Uber driver, and a stranger from an airport bar in 2024:
I'm sorry.
I meant most of it. I stand by very little of it. There is a real difference, and I'd like to walk you through it.
To the group chat
You didn't need the seventh voice memo. You especially didn't need it to be nine minutes long. When I opened with "OK so" and there was already a pause, that was a warning sign I ignored. I should have gone to bed. I went to the fridge.
To my sister
Thank you for reading a paragraph with no punctuation and responding "lol love u." You know exactly what I meant and you love me anyway, which is the whole point of a sister.
To the three exes
One of you actually deserved the message. Two of you did not. I'm not going to specify which. If you're wondering, it's probably you.
To the Uber driver
I don't know why I told you about my job. You asked "how's your night going" and I answered honestly for eleven minutes. You rated me five stars anyway, which is the most Christlike thing a man has done for me all year.
To the stranger from the airport bar in 2024
You said "tell me everything" and I did. I don't know how to un-give you my number. If you're reading this, I'm doing much better now. Please don't respond.
To myself
Put the phone across the room. Drink water. It is not that deep. Or it is that deep, but the correct response is journaling, not a paragraph break.
Anyway. I made a shirt about this. Because it's easier to wear the feeling than to keep sending it.
Love and shame,
Me
The tee in this cover shot: MISSIONARY SO WE KEEP ARGUING — shop it here →
0 comments